I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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