He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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