checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
