i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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