I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
