if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
