so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
