Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
