..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Say something about gay babies.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
