i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
