Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
