the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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