It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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