If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
