dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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