Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
