So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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