The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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