I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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