it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
