So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize