I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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