a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize