You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
