Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
