Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
