I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
