I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize