I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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