Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
