im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ketchup is God's man juice
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
