that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
