No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
