Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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