So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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