the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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