think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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