Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize