i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
