I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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