i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
