ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
