So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
