Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
