Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize