what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize