Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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