So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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