Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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