why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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