ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You ate ashes out of my bong
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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