you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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