It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
