he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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