i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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