some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
