I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
