I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
farters have to be the big spoon...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
