If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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