Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
