my vag is so smooth its legendary
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
