Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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