omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
