Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
