I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
