Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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