She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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