if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
