Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All the doctor said was why
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
