i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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