I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
