So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize