i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
