I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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